LUCKY 11

Normally he would have driven off and not said a thing, but TODAY was different.  He had hit his breaking point.  He had simply had enough!

A couple hours earlier, he had shown up at work to find a pink slip waiting for him on his desk.  Layoffs had been looming for a long time, but TODAY!?  He was in complete disbelief.  He wasn’t an expert on why the company was struggling financially, but had heard a nasty rumor that sometime over the past 3 decades customers had suddenly stopped buying as many typewriters.  He cleaned out his desk, knew that he’d soon miss the long days of doing nothing at work, and instantly regretted never using one of the typewriters he sold to actually type up his resume.

“But TODAY?!” he thought. They would have to fire him TODAY of all days?!

The day after his wife had left him!

He was completely shocked to find out about the affair.  Deep down he knew that he had failed to truly provide for her, and that she hadn’t been happy for a long time.  How could he have been so dumb as to let the love of his life slip away?  He had meant to spend more time with her.  He had meant to take an interest in the things she was interested in.  He had meant to ask why she was always sleeping over at his best friend’s house.  With the pending layoffs at work though, he had simply focused all his attention on getting his resume together at some point in the future.

But TODAY?!  Why did this have to happen TODAY?!

Just a week after his mother’s accident!

Ironically, he had been driving her to a Gluten Free Support Group meeting when the bread truck collided into them.  They had gotten into an argument minutes earlier when his mother had casually mentioned that she thought his wife was cheating on him.  He immediately began defending his wife’s honor, and in turn stopped obeying traffic laws.  “She would never…” spilled out of his mouth as he sped straight through the red light.  The truck crashed into the side of the car, causing serious injury to his mother, and in turn spewing bread all over the street.  He felt horrible for his mom, but as he stood there furiously shooing away pigeons waiting for the ambulance, he thought about how ridiculous her accusations were.

But TODAY?! Seriously why did this have to happen TODAY?!

TODAY was the two-week anniversary of grandfather’s sudden passing!

His grandfather had come over to lend his expertise in patching up some shingles on the roof.  Gramps told him “just hold the ladder and I’ll have it fixed in a jiff.”  His job couldn’t have been easier, though a few moments later he did the one thing he wasn’t allowed to do, he wondered off.  He had been distracted all day as he had been recently notified that the couple next door was suing him.  He mindlessly walked around the yard trying to make sense of the lawsuit when he suddenly remembered the ladder.  A second later he heard his grandfather’s panicked screams and saw the fall.

On the way back from the hospital he stopped off at Gramps’ favorite ice cream shop as a way to say “sorry” or maybe “thank you”.  He wasn’t sure.  His grandfather stayed in the car tending to his broken bones while he ran in to get the treat.  A moment later he walked out the shop, noticed his car starting to slide backwards, and realized he had forgotten to apply the parking brake on such a steep hill.  The car quickly picked up speed and careened down the street.  Inside the car he noticed Gramps had huge wide eyes and was yelling something, and he immediately knew that his grandfather was excited he had gotten him two scoops.

But TODAY?!  Why did this have to happen TODAY?!

It was exactly one month ago TODAY that he had burned down his neighbor’s house.

S’mores had seemed like a great idea as the cooler weather had finally rumbled in.  He volunteered to build a bonfire and decided to use the opportunity to hone his craftsmanship and teach the kids a little about architecture.  He downloaded some plans off the internet and worked hard to make it absolutely perfect.  They all agreed it wasn’t his fault the winds had changed so suddenly, though from the beginning everyone had vehemently disagreed with his design.  At first, he didn’t understand their criticism, but as the inferno began to rage, it started to make sense why modeling the bonfire after The Leaning Tower of Pisa may have been a poor choice.

The structure soon fell and the neighbor’s house quickly caught fire.  Since their house was already up for sale, he tried to comfort them by pointing out that this would actually help save them a lot of time packing.  They were furious and started yelling at him.  He didn’t take it personally though, as he knew he’d be just as angry if he had been promised S’mores and then didn’t get to eat any.

But TODAY?!  After all that he had been through.  This had to happen TODAY!!

He had too much going on in his head and wasn’t able to think straight.  He looked back in the bag and counted again.  Eleven.  He had counted multiple times and got the same number each time.  Eleven.

He threw his car in park.  Stormed into the store and stood in line.  There were three other people in front of him and he could feel his blood starting to boil with every passing second.   Finally, it was his turn.  He stepped up to the counter and before the cashier could say a word, he said “I need to speak to the manager!”  She immediately walked away, her face trembling with fear.  He wasn’t sure if he had ever been this mad before.

A second later the manager arrived.  He took a deep breath and then let it all out.  “I ordered a 10-piece chicken nuggets meal and you gave me 11!”  He slammed the extra nugget on the counter and left.

Ironically, he had been driving to her Gluten Free support group meeting when the bread truck collided with them.

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